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Monday, January 21, 2008
The Rule of 3s
I suppose I should never eat at home, never use my toilet, and never shower. Oh, and never stare at my ceiling. If I lump the middle 2 into never go near my bathroom, I guess that would fit into the 3 rule.

1. Never eat at home. Rationale: Our kitchen sink is kaput. The faucet and surrounding stuff above and the rusted pipes below all need to replaced. So, if we don't cook at home, we don't use any dishes or utensils, and we don't need to wash anything.

2. Never go near my bathroom:

Reason A: Never use my toilet. Rationale: The water pressure is nonexistent. If I don't use my toilet, I don't need to add tons of water from the bath to flush anything.

Reason B: Never shower. Rationale: The tiles around the faucet and pipes were replaced only a few years ago and already they've buckled and cracked. And the faucet leaks. So, if I don't shower, or Mum doesn't bathe, we don't have to worry about the whole thing falling apart on us. Which leads me to...

3. Never stare at my ceiling. Rationale: We've complained for years (over a decade) that our living room ceiling leaks, but we either received no response (even when we called the Housing Department) or a paltry response (there's no leak). So, if I don't stare at the ceiling, I won't see the dripping water, huge water stains, the cracks... or the gaping hole where the plaster has dropped down.

All of which means I'll either be an anorexic, constipated, odoriferous creature with a censored view, or I'll be an obese, bloated, malodorous beast who can't look up.
posted by Cheshire Cat @ 1/21/2008 11:58:00 am  
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