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Saturday, March 04, 2006
Things That Do Not Belong in an Office for Fear of Bodily Harm
  • staples/staplers
  • folders
  • letter openers
  • speakerphones
  • push pins/tacks
  • copiers
  • rank food (including Fuff's burgers)
  • clients
  • sycophants
  • rulers (thanks, Phosgene Kid!)
  • computer desks and chairs (thanks, Bren!)
  • rubber cement (no idea why; go pester Doc Blogstein and return with answer)
  • aerosol cans for dust- and detritus-blasting (courtesy of Suz)
  • fans (both the decapitating and rabid sort)

Notice I didn't say to whom the bodily harm would be inflicted.

posted by Cheshire Cat @ 3/04/2006 02:29:00 am  
13 teabag(s) brewed:
  • At 04 March, 2006 19:31, Blogger Fuff said…

    What about burgers?

     
  • At 04 March, 2006 19:33, Blogger Fuff said…

    Whoops, rank food, I guess they belong in that category.

     
  • At 04 March, 2006 21:50, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said…

    You forgot the weapon of choice of nuns around the world - the 12" ruler

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 04:40, Blogger Brenda Bryce said…

    computer chairs and computer desks. That is what gives me the most bruises.

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 04:52, Blogger Mummified said…

    Yes but whose bodily harm ? I am thinking that with a few creative friends and enough frustration with some of the goings on that you have previously reported at work you could attempt the following: ruler bent back burger throwing. staple dartboard with your boss as the target etc etc

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 11:27, Blogger Cheshire Cat said…

    Yes, Fuff, do read carefully next time, will you? Just because I don't specify things doesn't mean you shouldn't. ;-)

    *smacks forehead* Phosphene Kid, you're absolutely right! Thanks! How could I have overlooked the ruler?! Especially since I have used it on my boss. Well, her paws, at any rate. :-) Must needs remember to add 'ruler' to list. :-D

    Hmm. My desk hasn't hurt me, Bren, but other furniture certainly has, including a very odd cabinet cum seat type thingy. Can't tell you how many times I jammed my poor fingers on that blankety blank. One coworker actually kicked the sh*t out of his after injuring his fingers one too many times. Chairs. Yup, nearly fell out of mine on Friday. It tried to slip out from under me. Righto! List, list, list! :-D

    Well, mummified, that's why I added the last line about not mentioning exactly whom would be harmed. ;-) I like your suggestions, though, esp in very cleverly incorporating the items listed and mentioned. But I couldn't target my boss. She's actually a very good boss. It's others I'd have to throw muck and painful objects at intra- and extra-office. :-)

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 11:48, Blogger AtriaBooks said…

    Rubber Cement (loooong story)

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 12:11, Blogger Cheshire Cat said…

    Doc! I'm shocked! ;-)

    Explain, please! :-D

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 12:14, Blogger Suz said…

    Aerosol cans which blast air, with those tiny straw nozzle attachments. Porportedly useful for removing dust and junk from computers and keyboards.

    Don't ask.

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 14:47, Blogger Fuff said…

    Electric fans - I nearly scalped myself once by managing to get some of my hair tangled in the cover.

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 15:25, Blogger Cheshire Cat said…

    Fuff! I'm very worried about you. First burgers, now fans... or do you mean the rabid ones on 2 legs? ;-)

    Truth to tell, haven't seen all that many fans in offices. Most here have got central air con or some such, resulting in baking winters and frozen summers. Makes one wonder why we don't just move to appropriate climes rather than confusing our bodies with the mix-temp messages. :0)

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 15:54, Blogger Fuff said…

    I give up!

     
  • At 05 March, 2006 16:19, Blogger Cheshire Cat said…

    Now, now, this wasn't a contest. ;-) Check out the list again. :-)

     
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